Or maybe … he’s in crisis mode again.

This is not what I dreamed the pickup line would be like.

School Pick Up Line Thoughts Special Needs Mom (2)

I see all the pickup line and mommy rants on my Facebook feed and I wonder, “How do they have time to have such rants?” Aren’t they anxiously awaiting their child?
Aren’t they worried to find out if their child had a good day?
Aren’t they fighting off a ball of nerves in their stomach as each minute passes by?”

That’s when I realize, this isn’t something that all parents deal with.

For them, this 20 minutes of waiting is their most blissful time of the day.

They are actually by themselves for a minute.
There is silence.
They can hear their own thoughts.
They can make a phone call.
And they can even rant on Facebook if they want to.

But those of us that have uniquely different kids…

We agonize.
We worry.
We assume.
We fear the unknown.

But more than anything, we hope.

We hope that this will be the day.

The day that our kid will come running out of the school building just like all the other kids, with a smile on their face, excited to greet us.

2:55 It’s now five minutes past the bell. Will today be one of those days?

I see blond hair. His teacher has blond hair. Maybe this is her.

I don’t see him.
Oh, no. I don’t see him.
Oh, please God, tell me that today it was not another crisis day.

Yes, it’s her. It’s his teacher.

I scan her entire body.
She’s got a quick step.
Her eyes are open wide.
And wait, what’s that?

She has a smile on her face.
She’s nodding her head.
She’s giving me a thumbs up.

Today WAS one of those days.

And there’s that Pokemon sweater.
And there’s that smile.
And his eyes are wide and he’s running towards the car excited to see me.

Days like this are few and far between but, they happen.

And days like this? This is what gives me hope.

This is why we keep treading through these treacherous waters, exploring these daring adventures, and embracing at the unknown. These are the days that give us hope.

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Are you a parent who dreads the school pick up line? Do you have a “uniquely different child”? Are you in need of a “Special Needs” parent support group? Please know you are not alone, and there is such a group that supports parents and helps you find tools to get through your day. Our PEP (Parents Empowering Parents) support group meets the 3rd Wednesday of the month from 6-8 pm at the main NAMI San Diego office, 5095 Murphy Canyon Rd, Ste 320, San Diego, CA 92123. Come and meet other parents with similar stories to your own, who can sympathize with what it feels like to walk in your shoes. We offer one hour of sharing and caring, followed by a one hour presentation of a professional who is also a parent, and who will offer us coaching tools. So we can find the hope we need to successfully make it through each day. 

This story originally appeared on Lemon Lime Adventures, and you can find the original post here.